You Make Sense

4 Reasons Why New Year Resolutions Don’t Work

Episode Summary

In this special New Year’s episode, Sarah invites listeners to reimagine the way they approach goals and resolutions. Kicking off the five-part Somatic Starter Kit series, Sarah dives into four reasons why traditional New Year’s resolutions often fail and offers transformative science-backed tools to use instead. You’ll learn how unresolved past experiences and traumas can keep you stuck in cycles of unmet goals. Listeners will learn the importance of taking tolerable steps, building nervous system regulation, and fostering safe connection to support personal growth. Sarah also shares actionable insights on cultivating self-compassion, replacing coping strategies with healthier habits, and understanding the deeper desires that drive us. The episode is both a manual for self-discovery and a compassionate reminder that you make sense, just as you are.

Episode Notes

In this special New Year’s episode, Sarah invites listeners to reimagine the way they approach goals and resolutions. Kicking off the five-part Somatic Starter Kit series, Sarah dives into four reasons why traditional New Year’s resolutions often fail and offers transformative science-backed tools to use instead. You’ll learn how unresolved past experiences and traumas can keep you stuck in cycles of unmet goals.

Listeners will learn the importance of taking tolerable steps, building nervous system regulation, and fostering safe connection to support personal growth. Sarah also shares actionable insights on cultivating self-compassion, replacing coping strategies with healthier habits, and understanding the deeper desires that drive us. The episode is both a manual for self-discovery and a compassionate reminder that you make sense, just as you are.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

02:26 Reason 1: We Aren’t Addressing Our Nervous System

05:05 Do You Feel Like You’re Behind in Life?

07:03 Connecting to What You Truly Desire

09:41 Reason 2: Our Desires Often Have Flavorings of Past Danger

14:03 Reason 3: We Aren’t Addressing Our Parts

19:07 Reason 4: Lack of Support and Connection

24:19 Safe Support and Connection is Crucial

25:21 Take Tolerable Steps Towards Your Desires

30:17 Consistent Regulation of Your Nervous System 

31:37 Work at the Rate of Your Most Apprehensive Part

37:39 Relation Between Money and the Nervous System

46:00 What is a Coping Strategy?

53:54 How Do You Know Your Life’s Purpose?

01:01:36 Trying Something New Can Feel Overwhelming

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Important Keywords:

• Nervous System Regulation - This refers to practices that help balance the body's stress response, promoting a state of calm and safety. By regulating the nervous system, we can better handle challenges, make intentional choices, and build resilience in the face of discomfort or fear.
• Coping Strategies - These are habits or behaviors developed to manage discomfort or stress, often unconsciously. While they can serve as short-term relief, understanding and replacing maladaptive strategies with healthier alternatives promotes long-term well-being.
• Somatic Healing - Somatic healing focuses on reconnecting with the body to release tension and process trauma. This approach integrates physical sensations, emotions, and thoughts to foster self-awareness and recovery.
• Parts Work - This therapeutic concept involves recognizing and addressing different "parts" or aspects of ourselves, often tied to past experiences or emotional wounds. By understanding and integrating these parts, we can move toward greater wholeness and self-compassion.
• Safe Connection - Safe connection refers to relationships where we feel seen, valued, and accepted without judgment. These connections are essential for emotional and nervous system regulation, providing a foundation for personal growth.
• Capacity Building - Capacity building involves gradually increasing our ability to handle new or challenging situations. It’s about expanding the nervous system's tolerance and adaptability through small, intentional experiences of growth.
• Dysregulation - Dysregulation occurs when the nervous system is stuck in states of fight, flight, freeze, or shutdown. It manifests as heightened anxiety, emotional overwhelm, or disconnection and requires mindful practices to return to a balanced state.