Have you ever questioned whether you’re in the wrong relationship? We are often led to believe that we should leave if we don’t feel calm — but the truth is that the right relationship can often be the most triggering. In this episode, Sarah explores how unresolved childhood trauma affects your closest relationships, why you may repeat the same painful patterns, and how parts work can help heal your attachment wounds.
You’ll also learn the confusing or contradictory ways your nervous system may react when experiencing safe love for the first time and tangible steps you can take to begin finding more ease, trust, and safety in your relationships. Listen in for a compassionate and honest guide on what to expect when entering a close relationship and how to filter out social media advice that lacks nuance.
Episode Highlights:
• [00:00] Introduction
• [02:58] How childhood trauma affects intimate relationships
• [06:54] A breakdown of what ‘roads of familiarity’ are
• [10:15] Using somatic parts work to prepare for healthy relationships
• [15:08] What the ‘road of your deepest desire’ is
• [20:01] Building your capacity to receive safe love
• [22:23] How these concepts relate to your attachment style
• [30:33] Why your parts and nervous system need disconfirming experiences
• [37:16] Question 1 – Why do misunderstandings alway turn into big fights?
• [45:44] Question 2 – How do I stop caretaking my partner?
• [50:40] Question 3 – How do relationships impact the state of my nervous system?
RSVP for Sarah’s FREE Live Training:
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Quotes:
“When we don’t have the proper information that’s actually backed by science, we can end up going down the wrong roads of our lives.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:02:21]
“Even though those painful patterns of the past that we tend to repeat relationally cause us some pain, they are known, and that’s why we are drawn to them.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:08:37]
“We have to build the capacity to receive the good. You see, your nervous system only has the capacity for what it knows. – So when you receive that beautiful, healthy love, your system says: ‘It’s too much!’” — Sarah Baldwin [0:20:01]
“If a relationship is right for you and you have experienced a blueprint in the past of love not being secure and full and not just breadcrumbs, then it’s going to be very challenging at first, and so, you’re going to feel dysregulated.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:21:27]