You Make Sense

Getting to Know Your Protector Parts: Perfectionist, Procrastinator & More

Episode Summary

This episode pulls back the curtain on how our “younger selves” often influence the way we show up in our adult lives. From the perfectionist to the procrastinator, these protective parts develop in response to early or past experiences of feeling unsafe or overwhelmed. If we have yet to come to the aid of these parts, they will continue to show up in an effort to keep our vulnerable parts safe, often keeping us stuck in cycles that no longer serve us. Using science-backed concepts and practical tools, Sarah guides listeners on how to recognize and calm these parts so that our adult selves can take charge. By differentiating ourselves from these parts, unburdening these protectors, and coming to the aid of the vulnerable part they are protecting, it’s possible to start living in alignment with our highest self—and navigate the world with more freedom.

Episode Notes

This episode pulls back the curtain on how our “younger selves” often influence the way we show up in our adult lives. From the perfectionist to the procrastinator, these protective parts develop in response to early or past experiences of feeling unsafe or overwhelmed. If we have yet to come to the aid of these parts, they will continue to show up in an effort to keep our vulnerable parts safe, often keeping us stuck in cycles that no longer serve us.

Using science-backed concepts and practical tools, Sarah guides listeners on how to recognize and calm these parts so that our adult selves can take charge. By differentiating ourselves from these parts, unburdening these protectors, and coming to the aid of the vulnerable part they are protecting, it’s possible to start living in alignment with our highest self—and navigate the world with more freedom.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:16 Are Your Young Parts Running the Show?

01:10 Understanding Somatic Parts Work

06:10 The Power of Internal Coregulation

07:43 What is a Protector Part?

09:08 The Doer Part

15:23 The Perfectionist Part

21:21 The Procastinator Part

28:18 Adult Life Can Be Overwhelming

30:18 Building Capacity to Be in Your Adult Self

32:24 Unburdening the Protector Parts

35:07 Supporting the Most Vulnerable Part

37:52 “How Do We Know How Many Parts There Are?”

44:36 Learning to Differentiate From Your Parts

51:29 Why Do We Experience Roadblocks?

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Important Keywords:

• Parts Work - A therapeutic approach that involves understanding and working with different “parts” of oneself, especially those that have been influenced by past experiences or trauma.
• Most Vulnerable Parts - Younger versions of ourselves that fragment off when we experience trauma, harm, or overwhelm and essentially get “stuck” in that painful experience until we can come to their aid as our adult self.
• Protector Parts - These are also  younger versions of ourselves that develop as a way to keep the most vulnerable part safe, often through controlling behaviors, avoiding risks, or overachieving to make sure the vulnerable part never has to feel that pain again.
• Internal Co-Regulation - A process of self-soothing, where the adult self learns to comfort and integrate these young parts, providing them with the care and safety they lacked in the past.
• Neuroception - The brain’s subconscious detection of safety or threat, which shapes how we react to situations based on internal “safety” signals and past memories.
• Internal Family Systems (IFS) - A therapeutic model often referenced in Parts Work, which sees the self as made up of multiple parts, each with its own role, memory, and emotional state.