Finding a healthy relationship does not make old patterns disappear. In many cases, it actually reveals them more clearly. In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explores why partnership can feel so hard even when there is love and a genuine desire for connection, and why struggle in a relationship is not a sign of failure but an opportunity for even deeper healing.
Sarah explains how romantic relationships poke at early our attachment wounding the most, often leaving us reacting from old survival patterns rather than responding to what is happening in the present. She introduces the metaphor of the relationship as a battlefield versus a garden, showing how conflict, blame, and shutdown arise when unresolved wounds take the lead, and what becomes possible when both people reorient toward growth, responsibility, and care.
This episode invites listeners to see relationships as a shared, living process that can heal the past and support deeper connection when tended with awareness and willingness.
Episode Highlights:
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Quotes:
“Romantic relationships are where so much of our growth and healing happen, and that means that they aren't just filled with ease, they're filled with work.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:04:48]
“Any garden can be transformed if both people are willing.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:13:33]
“We marry our unfinished business, or we get into relationship with our unfinished business.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:18:28]
“We are punishing our partner for everything our caregivers got wrong, and our partner wasn't there for any of it.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:26:49]
“The only person that can rescue your parts is you.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:27:45]
“Romantic relationships are supposed to be an invitation into our wholeness.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:30:39]
“Our protective parts won't be open to letting us love again if they don't think that we can hold the aftermath of losing love.” — Sarah Baldwin [0:58:40]